My bags are packed to the brim. My room is dismally empty. My camera is full of thousands of pictures. My mind is rich with memories I'll carry for a lifetime.
But sadly, all good things must come to an end. I officially leave barcelona today (although it's technically the middle of the night because I can't sleep for the life of me) and I have so many mixed feelings I can't even begin to describe how happy, sad, excited, and depressed I am right now all at the same exact time.
I'm so happy to come home to a loving family, boyfriend, and friends who I haven't seen for months and can't wait to share everything I've done here with. The only problem with spending 4 months somewhere is that you put down roots, so although I'm coming back to all of you, I'm leaving another family behind. This, I think, is the hardest part of leaving. I have two spanish mothers, Angeles and Almudena, who, like my own mother, would do anything for me and have been so fantastic since I've been here. I have two sisters, Laia and Ana who have been so amazing and through them a group of great friends from the Pingree exchange. The Trinity group got very close by the end of the trip and although we'll all see each other back on campus next semester, not being together 24/7 will be extremely strange. Brianne said something very sad albeit very true last night: Another phase of our lives is over. I don't mean that to sound depressing or woe is me-ish (although I know it does) because this truly has been the best experience of my life and I never want to look back on it in sorrow. But it's true. We look forward to studying abroad throughout high school and through the first 2 years of college....and now that it's over, well, that's just it, it's over. But enough wallowing. I've cried enough tonight already and know I'll be a fountain tomorrow morning, so lets focus on the good.
When I first got here, I didn't know how I felt about being away from home. I didn't like being alone, I felt a bit abandoned and didn't know if I would end up having a good time. And although nothing is perfect and nothing ever will be, I'm happy to be feeling this "oh my god I don't want to leave" feeling, because at least that means that I've experienced something so amazing that I never want to forget it. So although I've been and will be a basket case until I'm on a plane home to the US tomorrow (wow, tomorrow...that is still so bizarre although it's so eminent) I can't wait to share everything I've experienced with you in person, to tell you al about the friendships I've made and how Angeles is already making plans for me to come back haha.
So to end this blog on a happy note, Barcelona has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. I've learned so much the city, culture, the language, but most importantly (and I know it's super cheesy, but deal) about myself. I've learned to be independent and to fend for myself, and I've also learned to not judge to quickly, and although things may seem less than perfect at the beginning, everything turns out great in the end. Most of all I want to say thank you to everyone who helped me throughout this journey:
To Almudena and Monica who listened to my horrible spanish and helped me through it, making me laugh so hard I cried and providing a warm and loving home.
To Laia, Ana, and Angeles for being my second home and always being there for me and for showing me a great time around the city.
To Agueda for putting together a great program. It couldn't have been easy to work with our group, especially during your first semester and I want you to know (if you read this) that we really do appreciate everything you've done for us.
To the Trinity group for showing me how to have some real fun :)
To my parents who listened to me stress and complain about my grades and everything else that wasn't fitting into my perfect little box here
To my friends back home who, despite 2,000 miles made the effort to keep in touch
To Nick for being so great throughout this long distance thing and being so supportive whenever I needed him
And to all of you for reading. I know I ramble a lot (like now) but I hope you've enjoyed what I've written and haven't gotten too bored! I know this was a long sappy one, but like I said I'm super sentimental and can't help it!
Anyways, I'm state side in t-8 hours...
get ready for me, America...I'm comin' home....
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